Video has just been released of the new Confirmation ritual in the Antichurch’s Amazonian Rite.

This is pure gold.  There will be lines around the block for this! This would cost north of $350 in any spa. Pure marketing genius!!

1. Molestation by a mixed green salad
2. SCALP MASSAGE (!!) with an egg
3. Magic rocks!
4. Scary knife!
5. Maracas!
6. Flower petal exfoliation
7. Aromatherapy massage
8. Cervical spine adjustment
9. Ripping hair out by the roots (flesh offering to Pachamama – she will NOT be ignored, Dan…)
10. Hair deep conditioning treatment
11. “Deaconess” spits Mad Dog 20/20 all over you