Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.
Who is this dashing figure manfully wielding his ASSAULT WEAPON whilst trampling and slaying a bunch of quivering, cowering musloids on a field of battle?
That’s St. James the Apostle, son of Zebedee, big bruddah of St. John. I know you probably didn’t recognize him because of the hat. Well, if you’re going to miraculously appear in Spain in the 9th century and lead a vastly outnumbered Christian Army against an invading musloid force and slay musloids by the boatload (as one does), someone is bound to give you their sweet hat.
St. James made a beeline for Spain to begin evangelizing after the Ascension of Our Lord. Tradition has St. James in Spain in the year A.D. 40. 804 years later, at the battle of Clavijo against the satanic musloid hordes, St. James miraculously appeared in his old home-away-from-home and, evidently, put on a clinic on killing musloids with edged weapons.
St. James, adopted son and patron of Spain, has ever since been known as “Santiago Matamoros”, St. James the Moorslayer (mata = kill or slay, moros = musloids).
To this day the battle charge cry of Spanish armies remains:
Santiago y cierra Espana!
St. James, and strike for Spain!
MANFULLY … WITH ASSAULT WEAPONS!