I would say it is the number one question flowing into my email box right now.  Traffic is WAY up.  There are scads of new readers, and lots of old readers who haven’t been around for a while, but are now checking back in. Most of the emails that come in asking me why I haven’t left the Church are not hateful per se.  They seem to be coming from a root of genuine concern, usually including something along the lines of, “You’re so intelligent, Ann.  Why can’t you see this? Why do you have this one huge blind spot?”

As previously discussed and warned about here, Trad Inc. partisans are now publicly professing and seeking to justify that which they have been discussing behind closed doors for many years: their own descent into apostasy. It’s one thing to apostatize, but to try to justify it and entice others into apostasy with you is the textbook definition of the grave sin of SCANDAL. It is also so quintessentially narcissistic that it almost appears to be parody at first glance. Would that it were parody. It isn’t.

I was asked specifically to respond to this, and am happy to do so. As St. Peter says, we must be ready at all times to explain why it is that we have hope.  I can think of no better time than now to make such explanation, precisely when it SEEMS that the situation is hopeless and that the sodomites have won not just a battle, but the entire war.

But sanctify the Lord Christ in your hearts, being ready always to satisfy every one that asketh you a reason of that hope which is in you.
Dominum autem Christum sanctificate in cordibus vestris, parati semper ad satisfactionem omni poscenti vos rationem de ea, quae in vobis est, spe.
1 Peter 3: 15

I am still Catholic because the Catholic Church is the One True Church founded by Jesus Christ in the Upper Room, built upon the rock of Peter, and outside of Her there is no salvation. The Catholic Church is the Mystical Body and Bride of Christ, and the Gates of Hell will never prevail against her.

Not good enough, Ann.  Sounds like robotic boilerplate.  Mere platitudes. We need more.

Fair enough. Everything that is happening now has been prophesied for at least a century.  The main vector of these warnings has been no less than The Mother of God Herself, appearing all over the planet, from Portugal to Japan to Ecuador.  In addition, Pope Leo XIII was given a vision of an exchange between satan and Our Lord Jesus Christ in which satan announced his plan to destroy the Church in one hundred years time. Satan was given the choice of which century he wanted, and he chose the 20th century.

Ann, you’re not helping yourself here.  How could a loving God give satan PERMISSION to try to destroy the Church? 

The same way that God the Father could permit His Son to be tortured and killed on the Cross – because from that horror – the single worst thing that ever has or will happen, the entire human race was redeemed.  In terms of what is happening today, the good that is coming out of the horror is that men – some men, but certainly not all – will be drawn much, much closer to Christ than they would have been had the times been “calm”.  For whatever reason, there are people alive, right now, today, that Christ wants to draw closer to His Sacred Heart, and He is willing to let this attack on the Church play out in order to achieve this goal.  If you are reading this right now, it is conceivably possible, if not probable, that YOU are one of those souls.

The key to all of this is Our Lord’s Agony in the Garden.  Note that it is called the AGONY, not “the disappointment” or “when Jesus went to the Garden, sat down and had the sadz for a couple of hours”. He was in AGONY.  He was in agony as He took upon Himself the sins of the world – ALL OF THEM.  Including all of the sodomy, all of the raping and assaulting of seminarians, all of the gay orgies by curial prelates, all of the sodomitical hook-ups in the sacristy of St. Peter’s Basilica, all of the raping of impoverished children by priests and bishops who cover for each other.  All of it.

Now let’s stop and think about this in human terms.  Let’s take as an example Luigi Capozzi, the priest who got caught several years ago having the cocaine-fuelled sodomite orgy (likely a satanic liturgy presided over by Capozzi’s mentor, Cardinal Coccopalmerio) in his apartment in the Holy Office building, just a few yards from St. Peter’s Basilica.

Capozzi with his patron and protector (and God knows what else), Cardinal Coccopalmerio

Luigi Capozzi has parents.  Grandparents. Probably siblings.  Probably friends back in his hometown.  These people were probably all proud of Capozzi, thinking that he was living and working inside the Vatican doing God’s work.  Now, put yourself in the place of Capozzi’s mother, father, sibling or friend.  Imagine the level of DISAPPOINTMENT, disappointment so intense that it can be called a species of agony, when they found out that this man whom they BELIEVED to be a good man and someone to be so very proud of, instead procures cocaine and other hard “party” drugs and procures rent boy prostitutes, and throws orgies for his fellow priests and bishops wherein acts of sodomy so vile that they make morally sane people physically ill to even contemplate are performed. Can you imagine being Capozzi’s father, knowing that your son is not just a sodomite, but a SACRILEGIOUS sodomite that sodomizes other men, including other clerics and prelates, INSIDE THE VATICAN? Can you imagine the feelings of complete and total failure as a man and as a father Capozzi’s father must feel?

A few short decades ago, Luigi Capozzi was his mother’s infant son, baptized, cleansed of Original Sin.  A perfect little person. Luigi Capozzi was just a few short decades ago his siblings’ playmate, playing kickball and riding bikes.  Up until last year, Capozzi’s family and friends probably thought that he was truly admirable – a priest and scholar that was “so good” that he was chosen to work in the Vatican itself!  How admirable! How proud they all must have been!

Until the moment they found out that he snorts cocaine and uses his own mouth and rectal vault, and the mouths and rectal vaults of other men, including other clerics and prelates, in order to achieve orgasms. And does this inside the Vatican. Loudly.

Most of you reading will never know disappointment this intense, but you can try to put yourself in the place of Capozzi’s family and friends and try to imagine.  Try to imagine the soul-crushing agony of, say, Capozzi’s mother.  It is possible that to Capozzi’s mother, Luigi Capozzi was the person she loved most in the world.  It is possible that her son was the person that she most admired and was the proudest of in her entire life.  To find out that it was all a lie, and that her beloved son was literally one of the most evil human beings alive, and that beautiful child that she loved so much had been totally subsumed and replaced by a sucking void of evil, and that the man she thought she knew as her son was really a false facade that he projected in order to conceal his monstrosity from her – agony is the only word that comes close.  Imagine finding out that the person you love the most in the world is actually a non-existent fiction.

Every time you read a story or even experience something like this in your own parish or diocese, when you feel that crushing disappointment, first put yourself in the place of these men’s parents, family and friends.  Allow yourself to engage that pain inasmuch as you can.

Then, and here’s the point, imagine Our Lord in the Garden.  Imagine what HIS AGONY must have been like, considering that He took upon Himself EVERY SIN EVER COMMITTED OR TO BE COMMITTED, and that He loves every human being, without exception, infinitely. Imagine His agony at the sins of these sodomite clerics and prelates like Capozzi, McCarrick, Wuerl, Coccopalmerio, Paglia, Martin and on and on and on….

Now, go ahead and ask Him why He has allowed you to be so hurt, so intensely disappointed by what is going on in the Church today.  The answer is simple: He wants YOU to experience and share in the smallest way His Agony and His Passion.  He wants you closer to Him.  He wants you to know and understand Him better, because only then can you love Him better.  He wants YOU to know and understand as much as you can exactly how much it is that He loves all of us, and how much He loves you personally, and right now the best way to do that is through His Agony.  Even in His infinite agony which we caused, Infinite Love prevailed unto the Pillar and the Cross by which all are redeemed and some are and will be saved.

Because remember, every sin is an infinite offense against God because He is Infinite Good.  That means you have caused Him infinite offense with every sin you have committed.  Yes, some infinities are larger than other infinities (this is a mathematical fact, not a silly turn of phrase), and so no, most of you have never had a gay orgy inside the Vatican or anything even close, but we have still, ALL OF US, committed infinite offenses against Him.

Consider the people who think that this is all no big deal – that this is what is needed to get the Church to “get with the times” and finally ratify sodomy as morally neutral if not a species of “good”.  Consider that vast majority of people walking around who apostatized long ago, or were never inside the Church in the first place.  Consider the people who in the coldness of their hearts walked away from Christ in the Garden, desiring instead to find a “c”hurch with no agony.  In truth, they simply decided to find a “c”hurch with no Christ. Consider the poverty – TRUE poverty – of such people. Pray that they choose to come back and accept the favor of entering into Christ’s agony.

Now consider how blessed you are to be able to sit here and KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that Christ has organized the Divine Providence such that you would be here, now in these days, with the information that you have, precisely so that you could go to Him in the Garden and weep with Him, perhaps for the first time in your life.  Consider that through your pain and disappointment, you can look at the most famous words in the entirety of scripture, and have an understanding of them that you might never have had if you had not been permitted to be so hurt by the Sodomite infiltrators of the Church:

For God so loved the world, as to give His only begotten Son; that whosoever believeth in Him, may not perish, but may have life everlasting.

Leave the Church?  Why IN THE WORLD would I leave the Church? I’m not scandalized.  To be scandalized is to be incited by the sins of others to commit sin oneself, OR to be scandalized is to have one’s faith reduced or eliminated by the sins of others.  I am neither.  Not even slightly.

The pain and agony I feel because of sodomites in Rome – and believe me, the pain is deep and abiding although I mostly manifest righteous anger publicly – is a mark of favor from Our Lord Himself.  He wants me closer.  God Almighty wants me – ME – closer.  And he has chosen for me the surest and most efficacious way to draw closer to Him – to share in His agony. For me to reject such a favor, for me to reject such LOVE, is, in a word, unthinkable.  My faith is STRONGER than it was a few years ago, and we pray in the First Glorious Mystery of the Rosary, the Resurrection, for an increase in Faith every day.  Part of that Faith is the sure knowledge that Christ would never, ever allow something to happen to us or anyone else, that He wasn’t fully prepared to give us the strength to get through.  That strength – that ARMOUR if you will – is available to everyone, but all are free to either avail themselves of it, or reject it.  I choose to share in the Agony.  I choose Love. I choose to “grieve together with Him”.  I not only choose it, I thank God for the favor He has shown me in sharing in His agony every day.

In thy sight are all they that afflict Me; My Heart hath expected reproach and misery. And I looked for one that would grieve together with Me, but there was none: and for one that would comfort Me, and I found none.
Psalm 68: 21

I hope this helps.

St. Peter, pray for us.
St. Peter Damian, pray for us.
St. Joseph, pray for us.
Mary, Mother of the Church, pray for us.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us.

Christ’s Agony in the Garden, Duccio di Buoninsegna, ARSH 1308, Museum of the Duomo, Siena