† Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. THY WILL BE DONE, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but DELIVER US FROM EVIL. †

St. Theodore Stratelates. Military man. Martyr. He was a general under the emperor Licinius who was persecuted for being a Christian. He was a total man. He invited Emperor Licinius down to his area to offer sacrifices to the gods. He ordered all silver and gold statues of gods collected and brought to his house for this big “offering” in the presence of the emperor. Then he had them all smashed and gave the pieces to the people. Heh. That’s just macho. So in-your-face.

At first he was tortured and crucified, but found the next morning to be miraculously unharmed. Not wanting to flee a martyr’s death, he presented himself for beheading and was martyred on February 8, 319 AD.

His icon hangs in a church near Damascus, Syria dedicated to him. At one point the church was overrun by musloids who were using it as a place to house their concubines and children. A musloid shot an arrow into the fresco of St. Theodore’s image. The arrow his the face and penetrated as if it was flesh, and the fresco stated to bleed. Soon after, all of the musloids were killed inside the church.

After the musloids had been driven out and the church reclaimed, St. Anastasius reported that he had seen the fresco with the congealed blood still visible.

Don’t mess with Ted.