Ann Barnhardt’s Slotted Wooden Spoon of Judgment and Discrimination

My eBay handle is 720ann.  My PayPal I.D. is [email protected] .  Purchasing, bidding, looking or just merely thinking about any of this sends you straight to the top of some FEDGOV list, so you’ll have that going for you, which is nice.

Are you judgmental?  Are you prone to not merely discrimination, but discrimination with extreme prejudice?  Then do I have the spoon for you!  Have you ever stood over a pot of freshly-boiled dumplings and said to yourself, “I like dumplings.  Dumplings are good.  But the cooking water is bad.  I wish I had a tool to help me discriminate in favor of the dumplings and against the cooking water so I could serve the good and excellent dumplings to my family and friends and throw the cooking water into the sewer.  I don’t want to serve my family and friends nasty cooking water, but I don’t want to throw any good dumplings down the sewer, either.  If only there was a tool that could help me judge and then discriminate dumpling from wastewater.  Sigh.”

You are bidding on a slotted wooden spoon from the estate of Ann Barnhardt.  A spoon that allows you to judge and then discriminate with extreme prejudice – without ever having to leave the comfort of your own kitchen. It is made out of wood.  Very JUDGMENTAL, DISCRIMINATORY wood. In fact, when I originally purchased this spoon, I judged it and then discriminated against countless other spoons in its favor.  This spoon was literally borne from judgment and discrimination.  And now, all of that judgment, all of that discrimination can be yours.

Who am I to judge?  Who are you to judge?  I dunno.  This is why we have slotted spoons.  Oh, and this is also why we have the Church, the Magisterium and the Scriptures – so we can “judge all things” (1 Corinthians 2:15) and “prove all things; holding fast that which is good.” (1 Thessalonians 5:21).   No reserve.  Free shipping.  Ann Barnhardt has Tridentine Masses said for her benefactors.